For the past two weeks, I’ve been thinking about putting this blog on hiatus. The only reason that was preventing me from going was the thought of disappointing my followers, and I’m sorry for that.
Tumblr has distracted me from homework and, ironically, I’ve wasted much of my exercise time queuing things for my multiple blogs. I also suffer from depression and a sever lack of self-control, so I’ve been losing sleep and stressing over Tumblr.
This blog might be back when I can sort out my personal issues, and I’m glad to hear you enjoyed it!
This blog is going on hiatus for the sake of my mental health.
I don’t think I’ll be back anytime soon; you might as well unfollow.
I get a lot of asks:
“What do you eat!”
“Do you plan out meals!”
“What if you have a craving!”
“Should I count carbs?”
I always feel the anxiety through the screen when people ask me these questions. Seriously, anxiety starts seeping through my screen like the dead girl in The Ring when she comes out of the tv.
We all see people on here (if you follow people that lift, run, etc) change up their diets, cut/bulk, cut out carbs, no more sugar, etc. It’s cool with me, everyone should try something if they are curious…as long as it’s done the right way.
My issue is cutting out sugars, mostly in the form of candy. That’s my weakness and I know it. I do it more for how I feel and my health. If I could eat pizza and sour patch kids all day, I would. Fuck broccoli, give me sugar. But I KNOW I can’t do that.
There’s a reason I’m not STRICT with my diet. and no, it’s not because I can eat whatever I want, because I can’t. I put in the work and the effort to help my lifts and stay healthy. I’m not strict because its unrealistic for myself.
I think about 5 years from now…do I really want to worry about what I’m going to eat when I go out to eat with friends? Am I going to freak out because I didn’t get 200 grams of protein in? Am I always going to get upset with myself because I had some candy or an extra slice of pizza (LOL NEVER)?
Where is the end game in all of this? I want to live my life. I understand this is not a diet, it is a lifestyle. I live a healthy lifestyle (for the most part). I enjoy eggs, oatmeal, meats, fruits, vegetables. I like eating wholesome foods, they make me feel good. But I also enjoy bad foods. I always will.
I don’t want to think about food for the rest of my life. It’s not fun. Finding a balance is really important, not just for my body but for my mind. I’m not saying that I shouldn’t care about my food and eat junk or whatever I want all the time, but I also need to remember I want to live my life.
I’m pretty good at this already, but I can always improve. I love lifting, and I will be a douche and admit that I love seeing my muscles show up, it’s a great feeling of accomplishment.
I just wonder what people on here think about, the ones that worry about it day and night, will they always be worried about hitting their macros, will they forever carb cycle and worry about having a 6 pack, will they get angry when they are forced to eat out? I hope not, I’ve been there and can tell you, it’s not a fun way to live.